I don't get why humans are so interested in babies. Any time one of these little bald freaks comes around, I either get pushed outside or poked in the eyeballs. And then they all laugh and talk about how "cute" the baby is. You try gettin' poked in the eyeballs, or having your tail tugged on, or taking a few fingers in the nostril. See how "cute" you think it is then.
Look, I know I'm an old gal, but all I'm saying is, who needs 'em? Do babies keep watch against intruders? No. Do they let you know when the doorbell rings? Nope. Do they bring you cool things like sticks and dead squirrels and stuff? Never! And I'll tell you something else: you never see a dog upchuck on a person's shoulder, neither. We take our business outside, where it belongs.
Babies...
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