Proud to be a runt

Good evening, 

I was perusing this article in the New York Times the other day, which basically states that "expert" human beings have figured out that low birth weight is a predictor of future health problems. That small babies don't do as well, basically. 

Now, as you all know, I'm a dog (and from Brooklyn!) but I'm here to say that I am a RUNT! I was half the size of my siblings and I have led a fantastically healthy life. It's true that I've recently had some issues but considering they are my first at human age 98, that's not so bad. I remember being squished way at the top of my momma, because my brother and sister were already out and I was still somewhere in uterus, swimming, finally having the space to stretch out a little. 

I don't want to trivialize serious issues and I realize humans have lots of serious problems to deal with, like pollution and how big their apartments are, but I just wanted to give a shout out to all us runts and little ones. We have personalities too! 

Years ago in NY, there used to a runt party once a month in a club nearby. It was awesome. 

Also, thanks to the reader who sent this pic in! I wish more humans did things like this more often. 

A new low

A few days I woke up from an afternoon nap to find a small puddle right next to me.

Great, I thought. Now they're dropping stuff on me and not even bothering to clean up. How could I not have woken up by the spill anyway??? I must be sleeping more deeply than I thought.

A few days later, it happened again. This time my owner made a big fuss about it and so I knew she hadn't spilled anything.

And finally, today, not only did it happen again but I overheard my humans talking on the night walk and... I've been peeing myself. "Incontinence" it's called. Apparently, I have the kind that only happens when I'm sleep and not in control of myself. It's not a lot of pee, but enough that it needs to be cleaned up.

I'm so embarrassed. I just hope the solution isn't doggie diapers because I don't think I could handle Redford (the Golden Retriever from the 11th floor) seeing me like that.

What next? Dentures?!?! I'm from Brooklyn!

It's an election year

Look, people, I don't like to get political. And until dogs get the vote, I'm not sure what the point is. But this year, I've got to take a stand against Mitt Romney on account of the emerging "Crate Gate" scandal.

Now before you get your Republican little panties all crinkled, I'm not sending out an endorsement for President Obama. He didn't even have a dog until he was voted into the White House, so I can't help but feel that Bo, his Portuguese Water Dog, is something of a prop for Christmas cards. Bo, if you're reading, I am available for sniffings and other social events.



But nothing could make me support the likes of Mitt. (Incidentally, I used to know a dog named Mitt back in Brooklyn. Mitt used to shag balls outside Ebbots Field during Dodger homestands. That Spaniel could catch anything! 'Course then the Dodgers moved out to L.A., broke everyone's heart, including Mitt. I couldn't understand it until I made the move out to LA LA land myself. Now, I just hope the Dodgers can get decent ownership and return to glory.)

The gestalt of the Romney story is this: The Romneys had an Irish Setter named Seamus. Handsome fella, but couldn't keep his nose out of the water bowl, from what I hear, if you know what I mean... On a vacation to Canada, Old Mitt decided to strap Seamus's crate to the roof of his car. I'll spare you the gory details, but suffice it to say, when the Romney family arrived in Canada, Seamus was nowhere to be found!

Who is this guy? Chevy Chase in VACATION? Who straps a dog to the roof of a car?! If he'd do that to his best friend, what would he do to the American economy?

Remember, people: there are no bad dogs, only bad owners. And Mitt Romney is the worst.

So it is with great pride that I join http://www.dogsagainstromney.com. We may not have the vote, but we have our voice! R.I.P. Seamus. You will not have died in vain!

Humans should make more things like this

https://www.jossandmain.com/Retriever-Bookends---Set-of-2~SIF2356~E389.html

how cute are these???

Getting old

Two nights ago I went out for a walk with both my humans. 

It was a particularly chilly night for Southern California. As we headed back home I could feel the wind ruffling up my coat and getting to my skin, which made me think of youthful nights back East when I would run around for hours in the snow with friends or lovers. 

So I started up a trot and to my surprise, nothing hurt. My humans saw me trotting and they too understood that I was having a moment, a shot of the old happiness before going to sleep. They ran up to me and past me and did those funny sounds that humans do for dogs. I love them. 

I worked up to a gallop, stopped, started again, the whole thing. It was glorious. And then it was time to go back in, so I ran up towards the main door and I guess I didn't see the curb, cause next thing you know, I land on my chin (hard) and I'm spread-eagled sliding through the lobby much to the surprise of the doorman who had actually held the door open for me. I slid in all the way to the elevators!

Kinda looked like this:   

It hurt. A little. What actually hurt the most was the laughter my humans (and the doorman) were trying to stifle. I suppose I looked funny sliding around like that but I was humiliated. I should have seen that curb and been able to clear it. After such a fun walk, it was difficult to accept that I hadn't seen it. 

Getting old is no joke. 

A quickie

Before my owners get back tonight. Here's a pretty remarkable study on "old" animals and what we can learn from them. A lot, in my humble opinion.

Some pretty good looking mugs in there too, if you ask me! (Hey, Irish Wolfhound, if you're reading this, email me!)

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/12/29/what-we-can-learn-from-old-animals/

Happy New Years!

So I'm 98 now! And still from Brooklyn!

My human's making chicken cutlets, and I know some scraps are gonna come my way. Imma eat 'em, then I'll prolly upchuck just a little, but what d'ya expect? I'm 98 and I'm from Brooklyn!

Hope everyone's New Year's is as good as this old dog's!